I knew that learning to balance our new (significantly smaller) budget would be a challenge. I just did not realize that it would be happen during my first technical week back from maternity leave to WAHM status.
The reality is I had been spending money while on unpaid maternity leave the same as I did when we had two incomes, burning away at my savings month after month. So tonight when I looked at my checking account to research some other information I was scared, horrified, surprised to see my balance.
We've never worried about money before and now we need to share more of our finances, make financial decisions together, and I basically needed to ask for money. This is new to me. I had/have prided myself on being fiercely independent and now I need to turn to my husband for help. Wow, what a harsh kick to my ego, right?
But why should it be? We're a team right? One family, common goals? After years of marriage I just realized I have not been looking at the financial part of our relationship as being a member of a team. Sure we accomplished the common goals, but I wasn't going about getting there with a true "we're in this together" mentality. Yikes.
Ok, but I don't need to freak out yet, right???
This new venture is really going to be a test. A test of our marriage, a test of my ability to let go of my desire to control everything, a test of my faith, and a test of our ability to simplify our lives to accomplish our common goals.
I'm sure I am going to sleep really well with all of this weighing on my mind, and since I haven't seen "Frozen" I probably won't "Let it Go" but I have work in the morning, and after that quick job I have my little minions that need me, love me and trust me...even if I don't trust myself.
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